How Should You Close An Email or Letter?

A student asked me, "How should I close an email or letter?"

Good question!

First, remember the hidden rule of all cultures:

When in doubt, be polite!

That means: If you don't know the rules, be extra polite.

Because when you don't know the culture, it can be hard to know what people are thinking.

As I have said before, American culture seems very casual. And it some ways it is.

But in many ways it is not.

But wait, how do you know what polite is?

Yes, exactly.

Polite is different in different cultures, right?

Right.

But! One thing is the same in all cultures: The Golden Rule.

What is The Golden Rule?

Treat other people the way you want to be treated.

But wait!

That can mean different things in different cultures, right?

Yes and no.

What is the same in every culture is the feeling the other person is trying to be kind.

Kind is not about words or rules.

Kind is a feeling.

Kind is when the other person meets your eyes and you can see they understand you.

They understand you feel happy, sad, nervous or angry.

And they care about how you feel.

And they want you to feel happy, better, peaceful, okay.

This is kind.

This is a feeling.

And it is universal.


Okay, now that I have said all that, here are some ways to close an email or letter:

1. When you don't know the person or you need to be polite or formal:

Sincerely,

Very Sincerely,

Respectfully,



2. A step below that is:

Best Regards,


3. A step below that is:

Best,


4. If you know the person well, you can start to be a little playful:

With a smile,

Take care,

I hope all's well -

Hoping you're well,



Hmmm... let me add an addendum here.

An addendum is something extra.

Maybe you know your boss well - but she or he is still your boss!

You must always stop and think: What is my relationship with this person?

Are we equals?

Is there a hierarchy? (A top, middle, bottom relationship)

Are we family?

And even if you are family, are you getting along well right now?! ;-)))


With someone I love, a family member or good friend, I might close with

With a hug,

With a hug for you and a kiss for your (name of child),

Missing you,

Love,


You get the idea.

Again, the main idea I want to get across is:

American culture has rules!

It might seem casual, but believe you me, there are still rules.

Believe you me is an idiom that means "you should believe me on this!"

If there weren't any rules, then anybody could be a millionaire or president and let's face it, not just everybody becomes a millionaire or president.

I know that is the popular idea but - it is not the reality.

Idea.

Reality.

Not the same.

The people who make it to the top get there for many different reasons. Some are good. Some are bad. But there are reasons they succeed.

Do you think those reasons are the same in every culture?

Let me know what you think.

All the best,

Cynthia